I mean, how do you go from writing about funerals to recommending a yummy smoothie recipe or whatever else I have on my mind? Yes, "life does go on" - but not "as usual". My life has changed... Even though I can strongly feel my Mom's presence every day, there is at the same time an incredible void there... an empty space that no-one else can fill.
I am preparing for a lot of "FIRST:s" right now...
My FIRST Christmas without my Mom - one that we had planned for together and that I've been looking so much forward to... I've put lights on the christmas tree outside her cottage. The perfect little tree that she made sure to save when clearing out all the trees of her property back in May.
My FIRST New Years without my Mom - New Years that has never really been a big thing for me, but that this year I can't wait to celebrate! New beginnings... New opportunities... New experiences...
-Just to be done with this toughest year of my life...
My FIRST Birthday (in a couple of weeks) without my Mom. The person that gave me life and that always have made my birthdays feel super special. I have always been childishly excited about my birthdays! This one will be my 40th and all I wish is that my Mom would be here to play her messed up version of the Swedish birthday song on her harmonica! Hahaha - she never had a musical ear, but she tried so hard!!!
In this personal blog about our life I feel like I can't go on writing without acknowledging that since I wrote last we also lost one of Danny's best friends to cancer. Danny went back to the USA on a very emotional trip to pay his last respects to our friend Greg and we followed with a heavy heart on social media. One picture that a friend of Greg's posted on Facebook really struck a cord with me. It was an almost identical picture that I posted the day that my Mother died. We have compared my Mom and Greg before as being people to fully embrace life and I feel like these pictures really show that side of them both...
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| Greg and his Mother |
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| Mamma |
What I've taken away from this experience and this year is that once my day comes and I'm getting ready to take my last breath - I hope to feel exactly like my Mother! I hope to feel the pride, the fulfillment, the peace and the feeling of no regrets!!!
And with that, my New Years resolution - actually, make that my New LIFE Resolution is to: Be in the moment; Challenge myself; Take action, Live life to its fullest and most of all Laugh, Laugh, Laugh!!!!
I wish you all an amazing Christmas and a fantastic New Year!!!
Now I will move on...
